What’s Next: When the Leader is a Mess

Grant Seekers: Walmart has a funding opportunity in Big Mama’s Playbook or scroll down to the end of this week’s post (that’s usually where you’ll find it). Want to learn more about grants, drop me a line!

Now to this week’s topic: When the leader is a mess.

Forty years in the nonprofit world taught me plenty about working with organizations, the people within those spaces, and the diverse workplace dynamics. I’ve seen my share of all types of leaders. I’ve been fortunate to work alongside some amazing ones who taught me the true meaning of “leadership”. Those experiences helped me find my own style.

Fast forward to my work now as a leadership coach; listening to new generations of leaders talk about their workplace challenges. Believe me, those four decades of experience come in handy as I hear about a number of reoccurring themes. One goes something like this:

Me: So, what’s been happening with you?

Client: Ms. Kelsaw, oh, I’ve been looking forward to talking with you! I need your help. PLEASE! My boss (or the organization, or both) is a mess! (Or words to that effect).

For this post, here are some ideas that I share with clients to help answer that question…

What to do when the leader (and/or organization) is a “mess”.

First, I’m not talking a little unorganized. I’m talking about a leader that’s the kind of mess where you wonder, “How did THEY get the job?” I’m talking about leaders that are at various stages of being overwhelmed by work demands or family/personal challenges, stressed out, burned out; while others who are just plain out of their depth/league skills-wise; and then there are leaders who by looking at their workspace, are really just plain messy. No leader is perfect, but when the leader’s a mess, the organization, as a whole can suffer. That doesn’t mean you have to get dragged down by it.

Own Your Decisions. Don’t Make Excuses.

When the leader REALLY IS a mess - and trust me, it happens more often than you think- you’ve got options. So, take a deep breath. Think about different ways to address this situation. Do not to get “stuck” like the fictional character, Hem, and find ways to get “unstuck” – figuring things out. Try discovering your inner-Haw, or Sniff, or Scurry from Who Moved My Cheese? You get to choose, taking in to account your own personal circumstances. And at the very least, if you’re paying attention, your “inner-Haw” should let you know when the messy leader’s (or the organizational) chaos drives you crazy enough - you’ve FINALLY had enough.

Now depending on your emotional maturity level - if you are a wise/young adult, or even a high functioning adolescent who’s done some self-reflection/introspection - you can get smart. Use critical thinking skills and your realistic assessment of things; learn how to navigate this situation. I can assure you that there are ways to survive and even thrive, no matter how chaotic. Caution: when figuring out how to proceed, assess the messy leader’s emotional maturity level to help determine how you strategize.

⦁ Don’t Let Their Mess Become Your Mess.

Stay grounded in reality. Just because your leader is spinning in circles doesn’t mean you need to join in on the madness. Try to keep focus on your work, and don’t get sucked into the disorganization or drama. If your reputation matters to you, be mindful of who/what you share/post with others. Keep doing your work; take ownership in its quality.

⦁ Speak Up but Do It with Grace.

Sometimes the leader doesn’t even know they’re a hot mess. So, if the chaos is starting to affect you, your work, and your team, you might need to step up and have a conversation or two. Some folks get nervous about speaking truth to power, and as the saying goes, “a closed mouth doesn’t get fed.” Find a way to do it that won’t burn bridges. For example, find the right moment, maybe during a private meeting that allows you to address the issue; hopefully, not make them feel like they’re being attacked. If they ask why, remain calm and cite an example or two that includes how you and/or the team came together to address it.

3. Play to Their Strengths, Not Their Weaknesses.

Even the messiest leader has something they’re good at. Maybe they’re a visionary, great at big-picture thinking or maybe they’re a people person but terrible with planning details to organize/plan a successful meeting or event. Your task is to recognize where they shine. Once you figure that out, try working around their weakness. Sometimes when the leader, and hence the organization “shines,” it is really a reflection on you and your work– you’re building your own skills while working around the leader’s weakness.

4. Find Your Support System.

You definitely need a solid support system. Whether that’s your coworkers, mentors, or that wise friend who always knows what to say, or a leadership/career coach who can help you stay accountable (hello…let’s talk!).

5. Know When to Walk Away.

This one is hard, but looking realistically, if your leader and/or the organization is beyond help, and the mess is threatening your peace of mind, it might be time to move on. There’s no shame in protecting your mental and emotional health. Working with a leader (or in an environment) that’s troubling or even sinking is just not healthy.

Weekly wisdom, in their own words:

“It’s easy to work with someone who shares your same work ethic, who likes to create like you do.”

-Ozuna (1992 -)

Interested in career/life coaching or nonprofit consulting with me? Schedule a free 45-minute consultation! Don’t forget to check out Big Mama’s Playbook featuring this week’s grant listings!