The Immature Leader: Be Careful Who You Follow

Grant seekers: don’t forget my weekly list of grant funding opportunities in Big Mama’s Playbook! Check out this week’s listing here – or scroll to the end of this week’s post (that’s usually where you’ll find it.) If you’re interested in learning more about grants and how you can get started, drop me a line! So now, to this week’s topic:

Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.

This book, The Maturity Factor recognizes the importance of emotional maturity in shaping workplace culture. Culture found in our workplaces is built over time and becomes imbedded within; it’s not just driven by the actions of its leadership, but by how every individual in the organization interacts, contributes, solves problems, and how well they respond (or don’t) to stress. So now that you know- be careful who you follow. Larry Liberty’s book describes four types of workplace behaviors, comprised of groups of “adults” and the other group, identified as “adolescents” found in organizations. This week, I want to focus on the “adolescents” the immature folks. ICYMI: Last week’s post about the “adults” in the workplace.

Let me start by saying this: I consider myself a WISE ADULT. And as a wise adult, I want to be surrounded and lifted by other adults – young or wise. Yet I know that within any group, team, or organization that I interact with, there are individuals who are deemed an “adult”- by chronological age, with a range of life experiences along the way, and with varying levels of maturity. In the words of playwright Sir Tom Stoppard, “Maturity is a high price to pay for growing up.” So as a mature, living, breathing and wise adult, I can (and will) unapologetically & selectively determine who I choose, and how much I want to give my energy to – what types of people. With that in mind, limiting my time with and space with people that Liberty describes as “high or low -functioning adolescents” – is paramount to maintaining my own self-prescribed healthy boundaries. Bottom line here: Age doesn’t define maturity.

Who’s leading you?

Did you know that many organizations are over-run with high-functioning adolescents: adults chronologically, who are acting like teenagers. According to Liberty, this amounts to 65-75% of individuals in organizations. LEADERSHIP SECRET UNLOCKED: organizations are filled with as “adolescents” – with varying degrees of (im)maturity. These individuals are toxic, callous, and even at times calculated, and self-serving. And if they’re currently in, or maybe “scheming” for, a position of leadership will use their authority, power, and influence in ways that will negatively affect morale and the organization’s success, including yours. Some other insights gleaned from the book to take a look at.

⦁ High-functioning Adolescents. Ambitious. Self-centered. Adaptive. Smart.

These individuals are highly capable, but they might still be driven by ego or personal gain. They may appear competent on the surface but can (and probably will) create significant challenges when it comes to teamwork, collaboration, and long-term success. They require maturity in managing power dynamics, which they sometimes lack. Remember: YOUR loyalty is sometimes a function of what you can do for THEM. Only time will tell… all that glitters.

High-functioning adolescents (HFA) in adulthood are like perpetual teenagers, that can undermine any efforts by bringing unnecessary drama or conflict into the workplace.

While writing this post I started reflecting on what I’ve learned from the many HFA leaders I’ve encountered. Working alongside or reporting to a leader like this, is honestly one of those “gray areas” of leadership. I’ve had the opportunity to work with many different people who I’ve admired. Yet these individuals with brilliant minds, capable of producing excellent, prestigious, and meaningful work; could derail an organization, disrupt a project, a productive meeting or demoralize a team, including me, with their reactive, and sometimes vindictive, emotionally immature behavior. And the more that their perceived imperfections were uncovered, by anyone, they would often resist feedback, or have difficulty even admitting fault, and will prioritize their needs over collective goals for the sake of notoriety. This leader will stifle progress – yours and theirs.

Thought it couldn’t get any worse? You’ve been warned.

⦁ Low Functioning Adolescents.

This group of immature adults will leave you scratching your head, your chin (or both) or questioning your sanity (that is, if you are a wise or young adult). Looking for acceptance and belonging, and sometimes in their quest, are just clueless (for real, clueless and not for the shock value) to their self-centered, disruptive behavior. They may resist accountability, will play the “victim” ALL THE TIME. Good luck. They require more guidance, more supervision, along with written, formal documentation. As a group, make up about 5% of the workplace.

What type of leader do you want to follow?

If wise leaders want to cultivate maturity and emotional intelligence in staff members, organizations must move beyond surface-level achievements and focus on building a culture. This involves the hiring process (more on this later…) and in creating environments where self-awareness, empathy, and collaboration are encouraged; and where emotionally immature behaviors are addressed constructively. As Liberty suggests, it’s not enough to simply tolerate emotional immaturity. Leaders must model the behaviors they wish to see and actively work to foster emotional growth in those around them. So, you may want to take a close look at and think about who’s leading you.

Weekly wisdom, in their own words:

“An investment in knowledge pays the best interest....”

— Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

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