Quiet Wisdom. The Unassuming Leaders Among Us

Grant seekers: don’t forget my weekly list of grant funding opportunities in Big Mama’s Playbook! Check out this week’s listing here – or scroll to the end of this week’s post (that’s usually where you’ll find it.) If you’re interested in learning more about grants and how you can get started, drop me a line! So now, to this week’s topic: The Quiet Wisdom of the Unassuming Leader

We often look to those so-called “established” figures in our lives for leadership clues— by seeking guidance from the people with formal titles and positions of authority or through mentoring or coaching. But some of the greatest lessons come from people who never sought the spotlight, who don’t even consider themselves leaders, yet whose wisdom, life experience, and knowledge can resonate with us deeply. It’s one of the most overlooked sources of wisdom. An unseen leader. Those elders in our lives who have never considered themselves leaders. They may be our family members, neighbors, or those community people whose lives have been marked not by public achievements, but by their resilience and hard-earned wisdom.

These are the wise elders who help shape our perspectives; imparting their wisdom, with a unique and quiet grace, that guides us without ever positioning themselves as “leaders” in the usual sense. Their influence is subtle yet profound on our lives. Their wisdom and guidance about life should remind us that each of us is a leader - and that leadership lessons often take place in those “gray areas” and from unsuspected places and people. Yet if we stop to pay attention to life’s re-routings you will find that these unassuming times can quietly thread wisdom into our lives – to help build us to become better leaders.

Many of these unassuming leaders have experienced life in a way that younger generations have yet to fully understand. They’ve faced adversity, scarcity, loss, joy, and even renewal, on their road to finally healing old traumas. They’ve been witness to the cycles of life—the rise and fall of opportunities, relationships, and health. Their lesson is simple but profound: like my Aunt Lela, an unassuming leader, proclaims, “Honey, life is a journey…” She’s absolutely right. Life is not a race, nor is it about some continuous upward mobility without any major setbacks or detours. Life, even for Aunt Lela at 99, is about adaptation, persistence, and finding meaning in the everyday.

The Unassuming Leaders Among Us

A beloved unassuming leader around the Berkeley community was known as the “Waving Man”. Mr. Charles brought joy with his bright smile as he waved to passersby every single day. Unassuming leaders and wise elders are oftentimes, unnoticed in the rush of our daily lives. They all don’t have large followings, like Mr. Charles had; they may not be on social media, or hold any official positions, but their lives and perspectives offer invaluable lessons. Perhaps it’s an elderly woman, teaching us about patience and the rewards of nurturing something small over time. That’s what my neighbor, the late “Miss Shirley” taught me. She spent hours meticulously caring for the soil in her garden boxes, tending to her vegetables & flowers. While out on my early morning walks during the growing season, I would pass by her garden and say “hello”. To strike up a brief conversation (an impromptu rest), I’d comment on her garden; the time spent to maintain it. Weeks later, and if I timed it right, I would be lucky enough to partake in the fruits of her labor! And another wise elder and unassuming leader was a dear family friend, a retired laborer, “Jesse”, who always seemed to have the right advice – sharing stories about maintaining relationships, unconditional love, patience, and building resilience —how he learned through loss, failure, hope, and hard work.

So, in all of the “busyness & noise” of our fast-paced, achievement & social media-driven society, it’s really easy to overlook these kinds of quiet, unassuming leaders. Instead, we might focus more on credentials, titles, and accomplishments rather than on the quiet wisdom that comes from living a long life. We can learn from them - to slow down, to value relationships, and just simply notice - to take pride in the small, often invisible, ways we contribute to the lives of others. By a smile or a wave. It’s free. Seen or unseen, visible or not, all of us are leaders.

The Influence of Our Unseen Leaders

The wisdom and knowledge from our unseen leaders are often shared through stories—narratives of perseverance, sacrifice, and the understanding that life doesn’t always unfold the way we expect. The power of their personal stories teaches us how to navigate life’s complexities with grace and wisdom. Lessons from unseen leaders remind us that leadership isn’t always about grand gestures or formal titles—it’s about living a life of purpose, adaptability, and integrity.

For those of us lucky enough to have or can recall the unseen leaders in our lives, the challenge for us is to remember the, share their stories, and absorb their wisdom. Thanks for reading! Don’t forget to share Lead Like Big Mama with others…it’s FREE.

⦁ Do you know an unassuming leader? Drop me a line and share their lesson(s).

⦁ Interested in career/life coaching or nonprofit consulting with me? Schedule a free 45-minute consultation!

⦁ Don’t forget to check out Big Mama’s Playbook featuring this week’s grant listings!

Several grants have deadlines coming soon!!

Weekly wisdom, in their own words:

“You cannot change any society unless you take responsibility for it, unless you see yourself as belonging to it and responsible for changing it..."

— Grace Lee Boggs (1915-2015)