Life’s Operating Instructions from Kindergarten

A new school year begins. There are millions of parents,

grandparents, and other caretaking adults experiencing major school/educational milestones or those “firsts” - dropping their kids off at unfamiliar sites, whether it’s a preschool or to a college campus hundreds of miles away from home. I recently read an article about parents dropping their five-year-old twins off at the “big kids’ school” to begin kindergarten. Oh, what memories came back for me as I reflected on, and how I endured, my own children’s journey to matriculate through various educational settings and systems. I am grateful to see these milestones through a different lens, as a grandparent. One thing that has not changed for me, I still have a deep appreciation for those who are

charged with educating and nurturing our future generations. This week’s post looks at lessons learned from kindergarten, a look at life’s operating instructions, and what my Big Mama would refer to folks as having or not, some “home training”.

Looking back, I started kindergarten in 1959 in Oakland, California. It was more than just

the beginning of my formal education; it was an introduction to the complexities of the world around me. It was a time when the Civil Rights Movement was gaining momentum, and while much of the focus was on the South, the issues of race and equality were very much present in my own Oakland neighborhoods. The city was a mix of cultures—African American, Latino, Asian, and white communities coexisted, though often in segregated spaces, mostly by race and economics – like the flatlands: East/West/North, the Fruitvale, and the Oakland hills.

Lessons from Kindergarten

The classroom itself was a world of wonder. There were wooden blocks for building, finger

paints for creating, and storybooks that transported us to far-off lands, especially when we sat in a circle on the floor listening to my kindergarten teacher, Miss Harrison. She was nice, often strict but kind, as she guided us through the school day with a structured routine that instilled in us a sense of order, curiosity, and responsibility. Nap time, sharing snacks, and lining up to go outside were rituals that taught us the importance of cooperation and respect for others.

Lessons from a Book About Lessons from Kindergarten

In the book “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten”, Robert Fulghum

captures the essence of these early lessons, emphasizing the importance of sharing, playing

fair, cleaning up after yourself, and living a balanced life—principles that seem almost too

simplistic or even antiquated in today’s fast-paced world but are as relevant now as they were in the 1960s. The book was first published in 1986 — some 38 years ago.

My experience growing up in Oakland was marked by simplicity, community, and the

beginning of lifelong lessons that, in many ways, align with those found in Fulghum's book. Now I don’t know what kindergarten is like in 2024, yet I hope that these core messages are as relevant today. I’ve highlighted 10 of the original 16 lessons from Fulghum, reflecting on the lesson’s application and its value - what I’ve learned since I left kindergarten in 1960.

1. Share everything. This lesson still applies. Each of us has something that we can share with someone else. It’s not about money. Or even time. Share a smile. Share your knowledge.
   

2. Play fair. Still applies. In my kindergarten class, we were taught to share our toys and crayons. It was a rule that ensured we took turns and that no one was left out. This simple lesson in community and fairness has stayed with me throughout my life. Then we are faced with a stark reality of life when we learn that sometimes life just ain’t fair.
   

3. Put things back where you found them. Still applies. Whether the “thing” belongs to you (everything has its place) or someone else; but especially if it doesn’t belong to you.
   

4. Clean up your own mess. STILL very much applies.
   

5. Don’t take things that aren’t yours. Still applies. And don’t try to “justify” taking something that is not yours - that’s called lying.
   

6. Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody. And actually, mean it - it’s called remorse.
   

7. Wash your hands before you eat. STILL applies. We found out about folks' handwashing habits during the COVID-19 pandemic when we couldn’t find sanitizer and cleaning products.
   

8. Flush. Still applies. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. Still applies. There are many dietary options for you to consider these days to limit/manage the calories, sugar, and lactose issues.
   

9. Take naps. Still applies. Note - there are different kinds of naps. You don’t have to go to sleep to take a “nap” - take a walk in nature, close your eyes and listen to sounds around you in the stillness or busyness. Unplug. Some people are skilled at taking a “nap”, and they claim that they are not sleep, but “check-out” for one reason or another. Sleep is your friend!
   

From Kindergarten to Adulting Life

It was in those early days that I began to understand the importance of community, the

value of education, and the need for fairness and equality. Oakland was my first teacher in

many ways, and the lessons I learned there have stayed with me throughout my life. Though I

was too young to fully understand the complexities of the time, I was aware of the shifts

happening around me. The adults in my life would sometimes talk in hushed tones about the

protests and the need for equality, conversations that would shape my understanding of the

world in the years to come. What are today’s kindergarteners hearing, watching and learning

about from the adults?

Looking for a grant? Here's this week’s grant listings from Big Mama’s Playbook.

Weekly wisdom, in their own words:

“Okay self. Do you want to have a fun day or a bad day? Your choice.”

– from Amelia, age 5

(Amelia sounds like a future teacher or social worker!)