It Takes a Village to Raise a Child. And in Adulthood, the Village is Still Required...

Hello, Lead Like Big Mama friends, here’s the latest Big Mama’s Playbook for grant opportunities! This week’s post… another personal story and the lesson that it revealed about becoming a real “grown-up” and an emotionally mature leader.

You’ve probably heard the African proverb: “It takes a village to raise a child.” It’s often quoted when we talk about the importance of community, support, and collective responsibility in the early years of life. But what I’ve come to realize is this – the “raising” doesn’t stop when you hit adulthood, not at 18, not at 25, 45, or even at 70 and beyond. Becoming a “grown-up” - a real one, a wise one, is not just about age but about character, wisdom, spirit, and it still takes a village, too.

March 26th was the launch for my Start Grant Writing virtual webinar series. After weeks of tedious work, time, and preparation, it was now “show time”. Rested from a good night’s sleep, I woke up excited to share my decades of grant writing knowledge and experience with those who entrusted me to guide them. This excitement quickly shifted, making the painful decision to abruptly cancel my very first session. Not due to illness or lack of preparedness. Those who know me, have worked with me, or have lived with me know and can attest to that when it comes to THIS WORK, I am passionate! What I could not control or predict was an internet outage that began around 4;30 AM. (sigh). Surely, it would be back on… maybe 30 minutes before the scheduled start! Positive thinking, right? No such luck.

This event reminded me that there are always going to be things that are out of our control – like my internet, out for six hours. Yet this unexpected break from the internet gave me some time in quiet reflection. It also reminded me that no matter how strong, smart, independent, prepared, and “together” you think you are, you never truly outgrow your need for grace, guidance, support, and understanding from others to help you grow.

Adulting is a Journey.

The journey to adulthood (adulting) is not a straight line. Life isn’t scripted. It’s full of detours, heartbreaks, reinventions, wake-up calls, restarts, and sometimes learning things the hard way. Adulthood can look like a million things. For many Boomers like me, we have raised children, helped raise other people’s children, cared for aging parents, went through many jobs or careers. Many of us are still chasing that “purpose” and legacy, healing from generational trauma, recovering from past mistakes, building & strengthening relationships, or simply figuring out who you are when all the titles fall away. That’s a lot. And the truth is, none of us is meant to navigate that alone.

The Village is Still Required.

Adulthood at any age is about change and adaptation. And sometimes dealing with it requires a collection of lessons learned and allowing others in your village to help you deal with disappointment - like that internet outage, and the other emotions, events, and unexpected changes that happen in life. I’ve learned a few things about navigating adulthood; like we all need mentors who remind us of what’s possible. Yet at my age, many mentors for Boomers are no longer around. But we may have priceless memories to share. We need good friends who see us clearly and still show up for us in various ways. We need our elders who’ve lived through storms and can tell us, “You will survive this too.” And again, at my age, our elders have become our ancestors. But we may have gained wisdom to share. We need truth-tellers, “wake-up callers”, encouragers, prayer warriors, therapists, teachers, neighbors, family (biological and/or chosen), and sometimes even strangers who cross our paths at just the right time. And lately it seems that I’ve needed to call on just about all of them.

Adulthood Isn’t a Destination.

There’s this assumption or myth that by a certain age, you should have it all figured out. But real adults, as wise adults know better. We grow in waves. We evolve through life: through relationships, losses, joy, hard lessons, and second chances (thankfully, I’ll get one with the Start Grant Writing participants).

The same way a child needs a village, an adult needs a village to continue to be encouraged, challenged, and reminded of their worth. This internet outage reminded me of my interconnectedness and my worth. When we fall down, the village doesn’t let us stay there. That village bring us hope in so many ways! Embracing our intergenerational connections and interconnectedness, the healthier and wiser we (hopefully) can become. And it reminds me of a Ram Dass quote, “We are all just walking each other home.”

So, whether you’re in your 20s trying to figure life out (that quarter-life crisis, of sorts), in your 40s reinventing yourself (the proverbial mid-life shift), or in your 60s or beyond and still learning, know this: the village is not just for children. It’s for all of us. Adulthood/adulting isn’t a solo act or journey my friends - it’s a communal thing. And we all need somebody to lean on. Your village doesn’t just help you survive it - it helps you thrive, grow, and heal.

Weekly wisdom, in their own words:

“The quieter you become, the more you can hear.”

Ram Dass (1931 – 2019)

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Big Mama’s Playbook: Grant/fellowship opportunities, tips, and resources!

New Grants: for increasing community well-being across the country. Do you work with incarcerated individuals? Find more grants in Big Mama’s Playbook!

Did you know about: Fiscal Sponsorship: A Pathway to Grant Eligibility – when an organization does not have 501(c)(3) status, you can look into finding a fiscal sponsor. In this type of relationship, an existing 501(c)(3) nonprofit offers to provide its tax-exempt status to another group. If a funder considers this type of setup, you will see a note in the eligibility. Learn more: Start Grant Writing!

Finding Money: Are you in alignment? It is critical in your grant search that your proposed project or program aligns with the funder’s goal/intent for the grant funding.

Free tips & tools: Check them out at Lead Like Big Mama!